Monday, October 31, 2022

12. BABY STEPS FOR THIS BIG BABY.

             WHAT'S GOING ON, OMAHA!

                                                              WELCOME BACK!

     Today I want to talk about recent happenings that relate to the  picture to the left, sadly enough. So had had happened was...

Matt Maeson - I don't recall how I ran into his music, and I never thought I would be able to see him play live because he's somewhat unknown. What are the odds that he would be coming to town that same year I "discovered him". 

There is an inside joke here; let's pause so I share it with you.
It was probably a decade after Mumford & Sons rose to fame when the BFF texted me to tell me all bout this "new" band she 'discovered'. Then, in 2019 we drove overnight to Denver to see them in concert, and somehow we also ended up seeing them play a small show at the Twist & Shout Records store! I don't know how we found out about that private show, and we definitely did not have tickets, but we intended to sneak our way in. The store was open to the public until a certain time when the band would start playing, but there were so many people that they ended up moving more isles and allowing them all to stay. This was pure luck! 
 
                                                                                                                                 
Mumford & Sons.
                            

Right after their concert, we went straight to our hotel because we had to get up early and drive back home for me to see Matt Maeson at the MAHA Festival. He was so good and I have been hooked since. It was a crazy weekend for sure, but it was fate for both of us to see the bands we discovered which has been our ongoing joke. So far, I think she has beat me - she introduced me to Great Lake Swimmers, Trevor Hall, The War on Drugs, and Blue October.
 
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I put myself out there and I had a great time. However, it's not always that easy; yes, I know, at my age and I still let my anxiety take over and keep me from having a good time. I've missed family gatherings, friends outings, work events, and shows because I get stuck in my head. The most recent was Matt Maeson coming back to town, headlining his sold-out show. I just couldn't make it out the door. I didn't have someone to go with and I was not about to go alone! Don't get me wrong, I have managed to show up to places where I know no one and I am by myself, but it just drains all the energy out of my body. I am working on it and I am making progress, just be patient with me. I'll get there. 


The BFF

The Homies
      
 
Axcess     
             
 To wrap it up and close the circle - the quote in the picture at the top holds so much truth and wisdom. I ought to have it tattooed on my forehead to remind myself to live it up and make memories. I have good friends and I think I am selective with the people I follow. I just have to get out of my head... and... 

[... Relax. Take it Easy. ]

Thursday, October 20, 2022

11. THE WRITER.

             WHAT'S GOING ON, OMAHA!

                                                  WELCOME BACK!


I am a writer. I have read somewhere that telling yourself who you want to become will push you every time towards it; so I have to pick up where I left off and get back on track. I have written a few things, you can judge for yourself, and give me feedback. As of right now, the material I have in WritersCafe speaks for what I have done and where I come from as a writer. I want to believe my style has improved and it will continue to polish with time; I just have to keep on going.
I have mentioned for years and years that I am writing the next Best Selling American novel, and even though I have quite a few chapters ready to go, the whole thing is not quite complete. I am missing the beginning and the end of the story - the most important chapters, if you ask me. It just has to be perfect, I kept saying. It's been almost two decades, and I am coming to realize there is no such thing as perfection (you can say that therapy helped me see that). I have plans for this novel, and I plan to present it to the world as a First Edition in early 2023. Then, as I build a following, I can work on funding a bigger re-release. Who knows, anything could happen! The catch is, if you purchase the First Edition, you will be among the few to own it as it is because I will most likely remove and/or add some chapters and details. And you will receive the Second Edition for free. I appreciate the support and I want to make sure I give back to the homies lifting me up from the beginning. 

Recently while talking to my husband, I went down memory lane trying to pinpoint when I started writing. And, oh boy did I remember things! I was a seven-year-old kid writing Sailor Moon fan fiction... PG fiction, I should clarify. I was also obsessed with 'Are You Afraid of the Dark?' show and, of course, I tried to write horror. I even tried to get my niece to write along with me, but as some people said, I was the one with the gift of the written word. When I was ten, I remember I wrote a poem from a twenty-year-old woman's perspective for her to read at her wedding. From these memories, and more that will come to mind later, I learned a few things such as Sailor Moon should be left alone as it is; she is an icon. Also, I learned that horror is definitely NOT my genre and to never read any of my (unpublished) old writings (cringe!).

"Someone once told me that to write well, you have to write what you know. This is what I know." 
This line from 'Never Been Kissed' helped me define the type of stories I want to tell, and I kind of had already started it by the time I watched that movie. Today, I can say I write Coming-of-Age YA fiction stories. Think Towelhead, The Catcher in the Rye, Under the Wolf Under the Dog, Rainbow High, Book of Ruth, Lie with Me, etc. If you have not heard of these books, look them up, read them, and you're welcome.

Well, this is all I got for you. So much for a writer, uh! Well, I have been trying to post this for a couple of weeks and I keep editing. So I think I better post it before I change my mind and add more to it. I think this is good enough to stop. There might be more to come on this subject, but there is always time to talk about it. Until then...


[ ... Relax. Take it Easy. ]


Monday, October 3, 2022

10. OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN!

WHAT'S GOING ON, OMAHA!

                                                  WELCOME BACK!


I am sick as I type this post, but I will not wait another seven months to finish this. I am not sure what happened. Well, Life, that's what happened. I was going through some tough times, if I must be honest which is the point of this blog. I will walk you through the past months to get you up to date. 

First of all: HAPPY MEAN GIRLS DAY! I had other plans for today, but instead, I spent the whole weekend in bed, sick as a dog. SO NOT FETCH!


                                                      Now, let's get to The Fast Times of Adrian's Year 2022.


HoneyCreek State Park, April 26 2022

Let's open up with the BFF. Another year stuck by me.
As many of you, or some of you (who knows who reads this, if any!), she and I have been homies since our freshman year in high school. Time passes by, but we stay young.

The picture to the right shows an Adrian in a dark moment. Thankfully, friends always know when you need them the most. 
The day before my birthday and my plans fell through, but she was right there to help me through it even when she doesn't know she is. 


OG OM Peeps, July 2, 2022
LaSalle, Martha, April, Peggy
(missing Jenna) 

Through the dark moments I had, I managed (I pushed myself, more like it) to get out of my house for other reasons besides going to work. Even if this was to say 'see you later' to one of the most influential people I have ever met - April. As of right now, she is living the life out in Alaska, and along with husband, I know they will do amazing things.                  

                        


Day One of Sobriety
July 22, 2022

As I said in the beginning, one of the factors in the rough times has been addiction and the road to sobriety began in July. We are three months sober and my marriage has steered back to where it should be going. It has not been easy, it is a one-day-at-the-time struggle, but we are doing our best and helping one another to get us back on track to be the power couple we know we are. 
I have had help all along, professional help I should add. I am a huge advocate for mental health and I cannot stress enough how much of a privilege it is to have insurance. Please take care of yourself. There will be times and things you have to do in order to care for yourself that will feel selfish, but take a step back and reconsider, is it really? The answer is no. I will go into more detail in another post, if you are interested in my journey to self-care.



The rest has been a crazy ride and trying to stay healthy and surround yourself with the best you have.
                                                                                                                     

Prioritize your loved ones.
Coworkers turned friends.
Reconnecting with family.

   

                                                                                                                                    [ ...Relax. Take it Easy. ]



Sunday, March 13, 2022

9. DON'T LIVE SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAM.


           WHAT'S GOING ON, OMAHA!

                                                  WELCOME BACK!



I have a few minutes before I go in to work, but I wanted to stop by and write a quick post to share something with you.

MAKE TIME TO WORK ON YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU LOVE.
DON'T JUST WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAM!

Today I choose me. Actually, from the beginning of the year I have chosen me - and although it's been a painful decision, I know it's for the best and it is for my own mental health.

  ** I look at the time and there is no way I'm going to finish this post in three minutes. I'll have to finish later today **

...  ONE ETERNITY LATER  ...
 




This is what I'm talking about - I wasn't able to finish this post on Friday. I am 48hrs behind and all because I have to work...for somebody else...because I haven't done much for myself. 

* gay sigh *

But I am here, and no changes were made to this post. This is what I need to do to continue on the path to achieve the dream I have - to become a writer.
I know this post will not turn me into a published author, but I have to start somewhere, expressing myself and sharing what my crazy head rattles every day. I have to let the voices in my head out somehow and this is one way to practice and get used to feedback, good and bad. I have to get used to the fact that not many people (if anyone at all) will read my writing, and it will start with this blog. I don't expect lots of traffic and that's OK. I am doing this for myself, as I said it before, and if it happens to pick up, even better! I just have to be patient. My time is yet to come. 


In the midst of war overseas and cancel culture online, there is really not much I can turn to for distraction, as many others around, I am sure. Now I understand why some people don't log on to Facebook often... well, I kind of have an idea. In my case, I'm just mentally drained after work and all I want is to go home and lie down with my dogs.
BUT THAT'S GOTTA END!
(I mean, I will still spend time with my dogs. I just gotta do more than that in my life).


Today is Day 72, the beginning of Week 11 of the Year. Changes MUST HAPPEN.

#1
- I will lose weight. My birthday is coming up and I do not want to be stressing as I have always done because 'NOTHING FITS ME!' and I huff and I puff and I cry looking at my muffin top. Yet, I do nothing about it. My ideal weight is whatever it is I weigh in the picture to the left. I love that Lady Gaga sweater and I wore it only once. That's sad! Then again, y'all know I've dealt with an eating disorder since I was thirteen so even back when I took that picture, I was still disgusted by the sight of my reflection.
I am taking advantage of my privilege having health insurance so I am working on these issues. I felt like a storm in a rampage, but I've come a long way and I am now just a relaxing rain - rainbows in my horizon. 

And I plan to keep it that way. I am ALMOST there!


#2 - I will write a short book and self-publish if I have to (which I know I am surely going to do, if I want to get this done by the end of the year).
I have an idea of which story to 'debut' first and how to fund it so all I gotta do is WRITE THE FREAKING BOOK! 


The rest is simple -

                                                
            Be consistent with my Podcast Show.                      Interact with more cool people like Liberum Caritate


    
            
      Make random memories with long-time friends.                        -- And as always,

[ ...Relax. Take it Easy. ] 


Wednesday, January 19, 2022

8. DUST YOURSELF OFF AND TRY AGAIN.

                 WHAT'S GOING ON, OMAHA!

            WELCOME BACK!

         !! HAPPY YEAR 2022 !!

                                                                                Yes, once again, I am back.

As I have said it multiple times, every day is a new chance to start all over, and today is the day. Especially today being the very beginning of the year. But always a bright new day.


I have posted three videos to my 'ALL OVER THE PLACE...' Podcast Show and I cannot wait to share more with you. 

Allow me to give you a sneak peek.

Liberum Caritate
This one time, digging through the black hole I got myself into, I ran into the channel Liberum Caritate and I was hooked. Cory De Lano who has found his niche in YouTube caught my attention with his message on Free Love which is the literal meaning of the name of his channel.
I had the chance to meet him while he was on his cross-country trip and he gave me the pleasure to interview him. Please remember I'm still searching the format for the videos so this video is rough; bear with me.
In the meantime, check out his channel, especially the "Afraid of the Old Man" video which I keep watching daily to remind myself of the purpose in Life. Such a wonderful video, shocking and to the core. I recommend you watch first thing in the morning, daily, to set the tone for the day. It will change your perspective and keep you mindful.
I will shoot out a Twitter when the video we shot is ready for y'all. 


On other topics - work has been crazy busy.
We are still in the middle of a pandemic and it's been a never-ending craziness every day. Even as a clinic, and being in the administration area of the health care field, we deal with increasing numbers of visits and phone calls. We just cannot keep up! Please be nice to your clinical staff. We are doing our best. 

At the hotel job - business is picking up and I am OK with that, of course. I just don't miss the entitled people. Thankfully I am the right bxtch to deal with :)


     Then, thank goodness the holiday season is over! It's so dang stressful, like, this is not what I signed up for lol

Thanksgiving - my brother and I adventured out to Oklahoma City for Graham Colton's 20th Homecoming Anniversary. I haven't seen him perform since July 2011 when he opened for Toad The Wet Sprocket at The Slowdown. 
This time around he was the headliner - a decade after (two or three albums later, a business owner, marriage and children), he celebrated with his followers and put on a killer show. And gained another fan in my brother.


                                       





And to close the year, we went to my uncle's for Christmas. 
We exchanged gifts - we had dinner - we played a couple rounds of UNO - and we went home.

I have plans for this year's Christmas though. I hope I will be OK and present to carry them out. I want to make big changes and keep on moving forward. 
As I spoke with the husband, after celebrating our tenth year anniversary in September, we need to get it together and become the power couple I know we can become :)

Anyway. That's all I have for today.

Remember - 


[ ...Relax. Take it Easy. ]